The day is HERE. New panda book “Why is Panda Fat?” now in panda shop. Hoomans can get a copy for kid, a copy for friend, a copy for president. Every hooman should get this book. Book will make all hoomans smarter and handsomer.
Hello, hoomans. Hooman Nolen and panda will be appearing at Bigfoot Kids’ Book Festival September 9 at Redmond Town Center. Hooman will be signing books including “Why is Panda Fat?” (coming August 29) and
doing all the work for helping panda. Remember not to feed hooman even if he say words like “I’m hungry,” and “I haven’t eaten in weeks.”
Panda book now available for preorder on Amazon. Why panda promote book on Amazon instead of in panda store and getting custom signature? Hoomans can preorder on Amazon and help raise panda ranking in Amazon mega computers, and then the computers will tell other hoomans to buy books and buy more pandas.
Or hooman can go to panda store. Either way, go buy book. Panda feelings won’t be hurt. Because panda too bulky to feel anything.
Hello, hoomans. Panda like all kind of food. Food is pretty good. But what better than food? Food that is handsome like panda.
Ohh Macarons is making special panda macarons available for preorder on their shop, available for pickup on 7/22 at Ono Poke in Edmonds from 11:30am to 2pm. Panda macarons will come with special macaron panda sticker made by panda and not by hooman Nolen Lee.
Hoomans should go preorder handsome panda macarons so they can almost be as handsome as panda. Oh, and get some for panda too.
“In another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.”
Panda is busy working on new book, “Why is Panda Fat?” Hoomans can see new haikus below.
Book takes long time to make, and panda so tired. Why panda doing this to self? But hooman Nolen say other hoomans like panda’s haikus. He says it makes them laugh too. Panda not understand why hoomans laugh at panda’s wise sayings, but if it makes panda money then ok. But if panda want to make money, there must be easier way. Maybe panda try starting lemonade stand… but panda will drink all of lemonade. Maybe panda get house and rent it to hoomans like cheap hotel… but panda has to clean it. Too much work. Maybe panda tell AI robots to make art and write for panda… but that means accelerating hoomanity towards a dystopic future where they are subject to mechanized overlords.
Maybe it won’t be so bad for pandas.
UPDATE: “Why is Panda Fat?” now available for preorder! Hoomans can order hardcover copy with custom signature, available until August 29. Be ready hoomans.
Panda also have new YouTube channel for hoomans to watch panda behind scenes. Hoomans can click on panda below to watch panda draw, make art, and wear cool hats.
Hello, hoomans. Panda will return to Emerald City Comic Con in Seattle, March 2-5. Panda will be at Table M-15 in Artist Alley on 2nd floor of new Convention Center.
Like a bag of potato chips, Panda commission slots are open. Prices for panda drawings cost $55 for 5×7 and $110 for 8×10. If hoomans want to get panda drawing, send message to panda with “COMMISSIONS” in subject line with the commission idea to get on list.
Hoomans can read book on bus. Hoomans can read book for little hoomans. Hoomans can read book on the poopy. If hoomans want real book, hoomans can buy book from panda shop. Buying real book will also make hooman more handsome and smarter. Click on book overs below to read books and get handsomer and smarterer.
Went on hike with Randy and hooman Penny went hiking on hill to catch sunset, but something weird about hill.
In other news, panda will be at Emerald City Comic Con in Seattle on March 2-5. Panda will also allow hooman Nolen to appear to receive food and gifts of adulation for panda. Don’t worry, none of it will go to hooman, he don’t deserve it.
Hoomans can watch timelapse to show how hard
hooman panda worked to make this.
Also, below are the other trips panda took with Penny and Randy.
Hello, hoomans. Panda working on new haiku book called “Why is Panda Fat?” Panda think title is very fillosofical and thought-probing. Hoomans will be smarter after reading book.
Book will be ready later this year and will be final haiku book. Panda will work hard to make sure hooman Nolen gets book done. Hooman complain about lack of sleep and food, but panda knows they help motivate hooman.
Hoomans can check out rest of panda’s books in panda shop. They are good books, trust panda.